Underground Tour – Without delving into a complete historical narrative of the 90 minute tour in which we partook, our exploration of the Seattle underground was by far the most knowledge-filled highlight of our time in Seattle. And while I would love to share each and every intimate detail which my limited attention span managed to capture (Julie had to retell about 50% of the tour to me), the basic story is as follows: Seattle’s city planners decided to forgo common sense, and build a city (and sewage system) without any attention to physics or nature (i.e. ocean tides). After a fire destroyed most of the city, known at the time for its unavoidable “perma-wadding-pool-of-sh*t,” they decided to rebuild the city, yet without the patience to wait for the roads to be re-graded first (who needs roads when you have feces to lead your way?) Nonetheless, when the roads were finally built, they were placed anywhere from the 2nd floor and above of every building, leaving behind an entire underground city throughout most of downtown (and a future cash cow for Seattle tour guides). As a note, $16 buys you a bit more detail and of course a hipster/emo guide to lead your way.
Mariners Game – For those of you who do not follow the 4th worst team in the MLB, apparently you are not alone, as neither do the majority of Seattle residents (apparently the bitterness towards the Thunder has turned most away from all sports in general). Nevertheless, the stadium somehow managed to find 5,000 individuals (one of which adorned in full Detroit Tiger’s apparel), to scatter about the 54,097 seats of Safeco Field as to witness a potentially historic night: 6.5 innings of a perfect game. Yes, 7 batters away from witnessing something seen only 22 times in the 143 year history of the MLB (yes, I had to look that up). Yet with the single swing of a bat, my deflated hopes were only out-done by Julie’s elation in knowing that we could finally leave what was quite possibly the least action-packed game in history (the OTHER pitcher had a no-hitter going into the 5th).
Fireworks – With the Meijer-brand fireworks show of Vancouver only days prior, we decided to continue our Independence Day tour of North America, and visit Lake Union for the “4th Best Fireworks Show in America.” To say the least, the show did not disappoint (I would have bumped it up to 3rd place for sure). However, thanks to who I can only assume, is the great great grandson of the original Seattle city planner, our 2 mile journey home turned into a frustratingly slow, overly-packed 1.5 hour bus ride along a single road shared by every car in Seattle. Thankfully we had the company of a very pleasant 70+ year old lady from Toronto, who felt our 90 minute journey was the perfect opportunity to share an extremely upbeat life history inclusive of multiple forms of cancer, untimely strokes and of course a soon-to-be-excommunicated daughter who decided to choose money over family. 10 points to Julie for saving me from having to participate in 90% of the conversation.
Sleepless in Seattle Tour – Hahaha, yeah right.
Comedy Show – With our time in Seattle slowly winding down, we decided to enjoy our final night in Seattle by attending the free stand-up comedy show sponsored by our hostel. In a stuffy basement, shared by 8 desperate-to-make-a-name comics, and about 15 don’t-understand-99%-of-American-references backpackers, the show was to say the least, interesting. The highlight was by far when one portly comic called out Julie for her disapproving acknowledgement of one of numerous failed pedophile/rape jokes we heard throughout the night: “I know that nobody laughed, but she had to take it one step further and actually shake her head at that joke. That’s how much she did not like it. She felt the need to physically shake her head side to side in disapproval.” Overall, some laughs were had, and I now officially have my baseline for worst comedy show ever.
Honorable Mentions – Fish throwing and tourist avoiding at Pike’s Market, Starbucks galore, ferry across the Puget Sound to Bainbridge Island to get Julie’s yarn fix on.
Onto the pics:
 | Our semi-creepy/fully-phallic hostel room... more on this to come in a future post |
 | Our fondness for Asian food led us to an Asian supermarket and quite possibly the largest aisle of Ramen ever |
 | The "Felix Hernandez" section at the bottom-left had more people than everywhere else combined in the stadium |
 | Exploring the rat/disease/feces-free underground of Seattle |
 | Getting our tourist on at Pike's Market |
 | Local vendor attempting to filter through the 250 people taking pictures of him for an actual interested seafood purchaser |
 | Chowda Sampla |
 | Not sure why this guy is famous, but he sure is cute |
 | Hipster Julie enjoying her well-worth-the-45-minute-wait-cup-of-coffee at the original Starbucks |
 | All diehard Office fans should recognize this shirt |
 | Checking out the views of Seattle from Kerry Park with a classy picnic meal of bread, meat, cheese & a 40 ounce of hard cider |
 | Postcaaaaard Shot |
 | USA! USA! USA! |
 | The infamous "Gum Wall" - Very flavorful |
 | Making my own contribution to the ever-growing collection |
 | Just plain awesome |
 | Ferry ride across the Puget Sound for some yarn-shopping and ice cream eating |
 | Julie's Toys-R-Us |
 | Sucking down some oysters & Bloody Mary's at happy hour |
 | Nothing says Seattle like a free comedy show in a cramped hostel basement |
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